So some of you may have read that I have been having some trouble with the NHS and how they are helping me to get over the MRSA that I contracted somehow... you can read all about it here. So there has been some new developments in what is going on.
Basically I have developed more abscesses and if you remember last time my doctor at home said if this happened it would be straight on to the long course antibiotics so I have been preparing to give up all my favourite cocktails so that I could do this, but now that I am back in Bristol I had to see another doctor at the Student Health Clinic. The doctor I saw basically told me that I wasn't going on long term antibiotics and I was going to be given another short course to see if it will eradicate it this time. This stresses me out because it is like this every time I have to see a different doctor because I spread my life between different places. This antibiotic is also the same one that I was on last time and have been on before according to his records and so my question is: If it has failed twice already, is it actually likely to work this time? I think the answer to this is probably no, so I am going to go ahead and take some antibiotic that is going to torture my immune system make me feel completely ill and lethargic and then in a couple of weeks I am most likely going to be ill again.
But can you believe that it is not even this that I was most upset by yesterday? The doctor told me I am not allowed to shave my under arm hair indefinitely. So I said okay I can deal with that I'll start using those creams, I know they smell bad but I guess it is just what I have to do. Then he said no, you must stop hair removal from that region all together! I did not believe he was actually saying this to me, and the way he said it was so casual. As if it was not a big deal. He spoke down to me and made me feel guilty for being unwilling to do this and when I asked how long I would have to do it for, his response was not comforting caring, he just said 'indefinitely'.
People may say that I am shallow for reacting as badly as I did, because I did not stop crying for the whole day, but think how I feel about this. My whole life revolves around beauty and fashion and now a major chunk of that is being taken away from me. I absolutely loathe casual tops with sleeves, I generally live in tank tops when I want to be casual and now I can't. If I want to go out in the evening I will have to find a dress with sleeves and I only own one. I have had to go shopping to buy a lot of tops to see me through what is hopefully only going to be the next 6-9 months of my life, but who knows actually how long it will take. My main fear is that this will make me ugly, this may make me shallow and spoiled but I refuse to believe that most females would be okay to stop hair removal in this region. It is going to impact upon my social like, my fitness (because I swim to keep fit), my confidence, my university work. I cannot actually think of an area of my life that this will not affect.
It isn't just how the problem makes me feel though it is everything about the situation, how the doctor handled it his responses to my questions about other treatments, the fact that this is my last year of university and therefore everything needs to be perfect.
Madly I leave you with the final thought that the doctor in room 6 of the Hampton House, Student Health in Bristol University is an utter di** who I refuse to see ever again.