Today I had to attend the funeral of a friend who I have worked alongside and had so much fun both in and outside of work for the past six years. This was an extremely difficult day for me, it marked the first real funeral of my own friend and it is a feeling I will never forget.
I am also down with a cold at the moment (a result no doubt of the lack of immune system I have at the moment) so today has basically been a bad day.
I was going to the pub this evening to go to the last pub quiz with my friends before I go back to university. I hoped that this would be able to make me feel slightly more cheery, but then alas one of my friends invited a girl that I do not get on with. She was rude and isolated me from the conversation with the main group by turning her back on me, this did not bother me too much however because there were two friends who knew how much we didn't get on there tonight and they sat with me and stayed what I would call loyal. For this I thank them.
It did get me thinking though about loyalty and people who give you nothing in return for what you give them. This girl would have never known the group of people that I was out with tonight because she came to the events with me to begin with when we used to be friends. If she had never met them then we would probably still be friends because I would never have realised how conniving, vindictive and manipulative she truly is. Actually I think if I never saw it in her I would have to be pretty stupid because she is pretty dreadful and yet while most of the girls have finally worked this out all the boys, barring my two loyal friends, haven't got a clue and basically kiss the ground she walks on. I just don't understand how they can be so blinded by her. She is not amazingly attractive but is by no means ugly, I would say she is average. She has no dress sense whatsoever and wears flared dark jeans with some form of large tee, neither of which fit her, all the time. she is rather skinny which I guess is her only redeeming feature. Yet it is not any of this that annoys me most about her, it is how alternative and innocent she acts and yet how the opposite of this is true.
Because she came into the group with the boys at a fairly late stage and they were the first group of boys she hung out with for any length of time, she was originally quite innocent and didn't understand the jokes they would make and she had this sweet demeanour about her but after a while she started playing up to it even more and exaggerating it to the point of idiocy. I know for a fact she is not that innocent and after a three years of friendship with these guys and two years of university for her to not know certain slang terms for a guys junk is just unbelievable. She also pretends to be really alternative and not mainstream, she laughs at the idea of fashion without realising that everything she owns is following some form of fashion from some point of time and one cannot escape something that is so vastly popular. She watches TV shows that were popular before we were born (that I also quite enjoy) and thinks this makes her unique but it doesn't and yet she talks about them to people as if we wouldn't possibly have heard of them because we are just too mainstream!
The last thing that really angers me about her is that she cheats on her boyfriends. All of them. And has the audacity to deny it. Basically at a party we all saw her kissing one of our friends while we all knew she had a boyfriend. Then denied it and told everybody that I cheated on my then boyfriend Chris, which was absolutely untrue.
Having to see her tonight really made today one of the most upsetting so far for me because there was just so much going on it was extremely difficult to manage it all, and I guess I didn't manage it very well.